Social media can be a bitch


The people that make your life  on any social network unbearable  either constantly express their undying love for their significant other(WE DON’T FUCKING CARE),or;  are annoying  #actualexperts or; are just  plain stupid. Do not follow them. Do not add them. You will thank me later.

I am in a hate-hate relationship with love-y dove-y, I-love-how-you-smile-when-I hug-you, last-night-was-legendary mapenzi on social media. Direct message anyone? Inbox please?  Durama  almost always ensues after the love birds break up (I hate birds). Hate speech starts flying around in khaki shorts and matching socks and hard feelings eternally hover above our timelines! KILL ME NOW!!!!!

No one gets on people’s sorry nerves than social media know-it-alls. That one guy on your timeline who always has some new and improved ‘superior’ explanation to any phenomena on earth. They give baseless facts on the global economic crisis, Libya, Mama Maina’s luminous green skirt…what in fucking hell? They hate to be corrected, take every single crawling worm seriously and they are the one person who cannot get along with anyone. Oh flying Neanderthals! Row after row, fist fight after fist fight! Kindly sit your ass down at a very quiet corner and solve your  issues!

People whose statuses/tweets answer the question, “What garbage are you churning today?” Eeeeeeeeeer, that shit you have been shoveling since the ass crack of dawn is what is on your mind? See you in hell! They make you chew on your tongue and slit your wrists as you plot on how to throw them off a blog cliff.

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